How to Be a Good House Guest: 16 Rules You Need to Follow

Clear your arrival and departure dates beforehand

The number one rule for being a good house guest? Do not show up unannounced or without a plan. "Always communicate with your host in advance about when you plan to arrive and leave and make sure it works for them," Goss says. When planning your stay, remember the old adage, "fish and house guests start to stink in three days."

"Open-ended stays are generally not a good idea, but if you need to leave some wiggle room, discuss it with your host first and if that's okay with them, update them each day about the length of your stay," Swann says.

Go with the flow of the home

Are your hosts early risers who eat breakfast on the patio? Then you should try to join them, even if you're a night owl who hates small talk over coffee and bagels. It's not about changing your personality and tastes—you really don't have to eat the pancakes if you're gluten-free—it's about not disturbing the flow and rituals of the home, Swann says. "Follow your host's lead, generally, for things like meal times, bedtimes and household customs," she advises. "You don't have to copy them but you want to fit in with them."

Share your daily schedule

If the purpose of your visit is to see the people you are visiting then you will do whatever they are doing. However, if you're in town for a different reason, like a work conference or college tour, and you're staying with a friend or family member then you should let them know each day what your schedule will be. "It's polite to let your host know about what time you'll be leaving and returning each day so they know when to expect you," Swann says. "You can also discuss things like if you'll be there for dinner or if you'll need access to the office." If you'll be later or earlier than expected, drop a quick text to your host to let them know. This allows them to plan around you and saves a lot of worry.

Treat them to dinner or an experience

If you'll be staying more than one or two nights (and even then), it's a kind gesture to offer to bring or order dinner in or take your hosts out to a restaurant, Swann says. "A lot of hosting involves cooking for your guests, so consider relieving your host of this pressure for at least one meal," she says. Ask your hosts what they like to eat and if they prefer to dine in or go out. If food isn't their love language you could treat them instead to an experience like a movie out or a game night in (you can gift them a new game).

Help with clean up each day

Simple things like putting your dishes in the dishwasher, helping to put away clean dishes, sweeping, taking out garbage or other small household tasks are a surefire way to ensure you get invited back, Goss says. "Be aware of what's going on around you," she says. "If your host is cleaning, offer to help. They may tell you to just relax but it's good house guest etiquette to at least offer." And always clean up your own messes—no leaving half-full glasses on the coffee table or snack wrappers on the sofa!

Stick to your room and the common rooms

"Just because you're staying in someone's home doesn't mean you have the run of the whole house," Goss says. Keep your belongings confined to the room you're staying in and stick to hanging out in the common areas like the kitchen or living room. Don't go in bedrooms, offices, the master bath, basement or other areas without permission. "It's about respecting their privacy," she adds.

Don't go through closets or cabinets

Just like you wouldn't go into the master bedroom without asking, don't rummage through kitchen or medicine cabinets, the refrigerator, the coat closet or other closed areas, Goss says. "If it's got a closed door, ask before opening it," she says. You should never rummage just to be nosey but if you're looking for something specific—say the salt shaker or extra toilet paper—ask your host first.

Keep the noise level down

You may love blasting your music while you shower but avoid playing anything loud over your phone speakers when staying in another person's home. This includes watching videos, listening to podcasts, video or regular phone calls and games with sound effects. It also includes non-tech activities like singing, whistling, and speaking loudly. "Check your noise level in general, especially if your host has young children," Goss says.

Coach children in advance

Bringing children as house guests adds another layer of etiquette to be aware of, says Goss, who is the mother and foster mother of 50 children (yes, 50!). "I would always talk to the kids at least a week before traveling," she says. "Explain to them what the rules will be and then practice them at home. Teach them how to be polite houseguests." Once there, keep an extra close eye on little ones to make sure they don't get into things they shouldn't and be sure to clean up any extra messes they make.

Don't bring strangers into the home

It's not just one-night stands that are bad manners. "Don't bring anyone who is a stranger to your host into their home without asking first," Swann says. This includes people you may know, like coworkers and other friends, and people you don't know like delivery people and door-to-door sales reps.

Ask permission to bring pets

Some people prefer to travel with their companion animals but you should always ask well before your trip if your hosts are okay with pets, Goss says. "Even if they are animal lovers, they may not want yours staying in their home," she says. "Not to mention that many people are allergic to animals or just don't enjoy them." If they do give permission to bring Fluffy or Fido, be extra diligent about cleaning up messes and fur and watching them so they don't cause damage or fight with other animals.