When I was a teenager, my friends and I would often talk about becoming adults – how fun it would be to decorate our own homes and visit each other, be allowed in nightclubs, and have one too many drinks. We could spend the weekends at the beach – it didn’t matter after all; we’d be adults with free will, a driving license and our own money. The future seemed so fun. I recently turned 23. With that came the realisation that I’ve technically been able to do all of the above for five years since I turned 18 and legally became an adult. And yet… I have barely ticked anything off the list. In fact I can count on one hand the times I’ve set foot in a nightclub, or even come home after 12pm. (Photo: Teri Pengilley)

A life of regime and routine

Instead, I’ve built a life of regime. Each day is planned out in my Google Calendar (I do this planning every Sunday) and it’s repetitive: wake up at 5am; go to the gym; work; walk; take the dog out; eat my dinner; go to bed. I’ve grown accustomed to this routine, and it’s worked well for me in a lot of ways. I’m organised at work, I get to regularly exercise, and my dog has a routine. But it also cancels out any spontaneity, and the ”adult fun” that 10 years ago I dreamt I would be having now. (Photo: Philaiwan Wongnathi/Getty)

In bed by 9pm in Ibiza

Of course my life can’t be all road trips and beach days. These things require money and, after moving out at 19 and financially supporting myself since then, it’s hard. But when I open Instagram, or meet new people, and they tell me what they did on the weekend, or days off work, I do feel a pang of jealousy. My structured life has given me stability but when I look back on my time as an 18-year-old, when really I had no responsibility at all, I regret not “living” more. Even when I went to Ibiza with a friend aged 20, I was in bed by 9pm because that’s what I did at home. And, although it makes me feel like a loser to say this, spontaneity makes me feel a little uneasy. But now I feel as if I’ve missed the boat, and the boring woes of adulthood have flooded in, leaving it too late to create these crazy stories and memories. (Photo: Anton Petrus/Getty)

'Scared to have fun'

Maybe it’s a generational thing. Anna Maynard, an influencer and girlfriend of Traitors winner Harry Clark, recently posted a video to TikTok reminiscing about the first half of her twenties, saying she’s “at a point in her life where she’s scared to have fun… I feel like I’ve regimented myself so much in my twenties and not gone out as much, and not had that version of fun, that I’ve forgotten how to and I’m scared to,” she says. Her clip clearly resonates; it has had over 400,000 views, 31,000 likes and hundreds of comments agreeing. “TikTok is to blame with the clean girl, healthy slow life aesthetic but it’s important to have balance,” one person replied. “I don’t leave the house, don’t go out, haven’t [had alcohol] since 2024 and I’m just the boring person in my family,” said another. (Photo: Matt Slocum/AP)

Pilates over partying

Multiple factors have fed into so many of us Gen Z-ers feeling this way. The Covid pandemic, and lockdowns, hit at a crucial time in our early adult lives. I was 17 when the world first shut down and pubs, clubs and most restaurants were still closed when I became an adult. The world wasn’t ‘normal’ again until I was gone 19. And it feels like there’s been a shift. Fewer of us drink alcohol or spend nights in the pub. Many are financially struggling or obsessively job-hunting. Having “fun” feels a million miles away. Social media is another key aspect. The rise of the healthy, slow life has been a trend for years – going to a Pilates class, grabbing a green juice, running and journalling are hot right now. And friendships happen online; a catch-up message here and there suffices, and real-world interaction has dwindled. (Photo: Tempura/Getty)

Doing the right thing... at a price

I never used to feel this way. At 19, when I was already working for a national newspaper, exercising regularly, and had a solid sleep routine I felt ahead of my peers in terms of success. I felt I was doing the right thing, ticking the boxes, but there was definitely a price: I now feel I’ve missed out. I know that I am still young, I tell myself that there is still time to live more and be spontaneous. It’s just that I can’t help but feel I should have done this years ago when I didn’t have rent to pay, bills to keep up with, or a career to work on. If I could go back and tell myself one thing when I became an adult it would be to stop stressing and do more. To say yes to things, and stop being so damn sensible – not least because if I’d have done then I may have many more fun stories to tell now. (Photo: Hanna Siamashka/Getty/iStockphoto)