I had my third child and aged by a decade in a year

It was overwhelming (Picture: Georgina Fuller)

I remember the first time I tried to leave the house with three children under the age of five. 

We’d just arrived at the park when my six week old baby woke up and started crying. I couldn’t get her seat to click onto the buggy properly so I was trying to comfort her with one arm and sort the buggy out with the other. 

Just as I’d settled the baby down for a feed, the eldest fell off the swing and started howling.

I hadn’t been able to drive for six weeks while my C-section healed and I’d been marooned for what felt like forever – and when I finally got to taste the outside world, all this happened at once.

‘What have I done?’ I remember thinking. ‘I can’t keep an eye on all of them.’

It was overwhelming. 

I felt as though having that third baby aged me by at least a decade in that first year (Picture: Georgina Fuller)

For my husband, Dom, and I, the third baby was the deal breaker. Our kids are now 16, 13 and 11 but the boys, Charlie and Eddie, were five and two when our daughter, Jemima, was born when I was 36.

Yet, I felt as though having that third baby aged me by at least a decade in that first year.

With three kids, you are always outnumbered. On your own, you only have two hands so someone is always getting the short straw when it comes to cuddles and holding hands. 

At times, like when one was crying but I was trying to help another one get dressed, it seemed as though there was never enough of me to go round. 

I felt as though having that third baby aged me by at least a decade in that first year (Picture: Georgina Fuller)

I used to lie awake at night after putting them all to bed, which I had to do in stages – the baby at 7pm, middle one at 7:30pm and the eldest at 8pm – wracked with guilt.

I would worry about the way I’d snapped at my eldest, Charlie, or feel awful about plonking the toddler, Eddie, in front of In The Night Garden for an hour while I tried to get their dinner ready.

Until his sister Jemima was born, he had been the baby of the family and now suddenly he was the middle child. It seemed as though almost overnight he went from being a placid, easy going little poppet to quite sullen and withdrawn. 

I remember the nursery saying his speech and language was delayed and thinking it must be my fault for focusing on the baby so much. He was later diagnosed with autism, which explained a few things, but we didn’t know that at the time. 

I loved growing up with a big brother and sister but I hadn’t seen how overwhelming it must have been for my mum (Picture: Georgina Fuller)

I have always wanted three children as I am the third child myself and, as my husband is one of four, we had both grown up in fairly big families. I’d only ever seen it from the child’s perspective though, not the parents.

I loved growing up with a big brother and sister but I hadn’t seen how overwhelming it must have been for my mum.

When two out of three woke up crying in the middle of the night and I didn’t know which one to go to first, or when I was undoing their seatbelts and they all tried to rush out at once. 

I had also underestimated the fact that everything, from cars to restaurant tables to family cinema tickets, are geared towards families of four. Having an ‘odd’ number of kids changes things.

My husband spent months trying to find a car that could accommodate three kids and wouldn’t break the bank.

I have always wanted three children (Picture: Georgina Fuller)

I remember a few people saying we may as well go on to have a fourth but with three, we were at full capacity.

Things have certainly become a bit easier now my children are older but they are all at different schools and there is a whole new set of challenges, from juggling term times to school emails and remembering who has parents’ evening or inset days.

In five years’ time they will celebrate their 16th, 18th and 21st birthdays, all within three months, so 2030 is going to be a big (and very expensive!) year.

And money aside, there is an emotional cost about wanting each child to feel equally loved.

But you know what, I wouldn’t change a thing. The third child might have been the tipping point but three, as far as I’m concerned, really is the magic number.

Three really is a crowd but three lots of hugs and love never gets tiring.

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