Top 9+ Parenting Tips That Age Poorly (Though Passed Down in Every Family)

Never Let Them See You Cry

The old-school belief that parents should never show vulnerability to their children backfires spectacularly. Despite this, 80% think discussions about mental health and emotional well-being are very important in shaping a child's overall development.

When parents hide their emotions, children learn that feelings are shameful and shouldn't be discussed. There's a stark contrast between the generations and discussing mental health: 2 in 3 millennial parents say their parents never talked with them about mental health while 98% of millennial parents talk with their children about it.

This creates a generation of emotionally stunted adults who struggle to form healthy relationships. Think of it like wearing a mask all day—eventually, you forget what your real face looks like.

Kids don't need perfect parents; they need real ones who show them how to handle life's ups and downs.

Praise Them Constantly So They Feel Special

The "everyone gets a trophy" mentality has created a generation struggling with real-world feedback. "They come to expect attention and even applause for everything they do," she says.

"This reliance on external stimuli solidifies the already inflated sense of self that comes with the age, potentially hindering the proper development of empathy and regard for others' feelings and needs." Children who receive constant praise for ordinary actions become addicted to external validation. They crumble when they face legitimate criticism at work or in relationships because they've never learned to self-evaluate.

Imagine a plant that only grows in a greenhouse—it withers the moment you put it outside. Instead of praising everything, parents should acknowledge effort and growth while allowing children to develop internal motivation.

Keep Them Busy Every Second

"Many parents today have children engaged in camps, music classes, language programs, and other activities and feel obligated to entertain their children rather than giving them space to use their imagination," she explains. "Children grow their mind and develop their imagination during periods of boredom and opportunities for free play.

Children should have frequent opportunities to engage in independent, screen-free, unstructured play." The overscheduled child phenomenon creates adults who can't sit still or think creatively. These kids become anxious when they don't have structured activities, never learning to entertain themselves or develop inner resources.

"In a world where kids are constantly on the go, they rarely get the chance to be bored and figure things out on their own. But in these moments of unstructured play, children tap into their creativity, problem-solving skills and emotional intelligence.

Boredom isn't the enemy—it's the birthplace of innovation and self-discovery.

Let Them Figure It Out Themselves

The hands-off approach that worked when neighborhoods were safer has turned dangerous in today's world. "Gone are the days when you just sent kids outside and told them not to come home until the streetlights came on.

Millennials are deep in the trenches of gentle parenting and trying to break generational cycles without losing their patience (or their minds)." Children need guidance to navigate complex social situations, online safety, and emotional regulation. The "sink or swim" mentality often results in children who sink rather than swim, developing anxiety and trust issues.

"I'm 40 years old now, and really, when I look back at my parents, it's almost like I don't have this giant emotional attachment to them. Any emotional issues were pretty much non-existent." Balance is key—children need both independence and support to thrive.

Use Fear as Your Main Discipline Tool

Threatening children with consequences that never come or using fear-based discipline creates lasting trauma. "Doctors thus advised parents (specifically mothers because...

you know), to walk away from crying babies, and ignore them both night and day. At least we what to blame our hyper-capitalist societies on, it's the socialist-resistant parenting strategies of the '60s!" Children who grow up afraid of their parents often become adults who struggle with authority figures and decision-making.

They either become overly compliant or rebellious, neither learning healthy boundaries. "I heard someone say once that if you listen to the little stuff when they're little, they'll tell you about the big stuff when they're big because to them, it's always been the big stuff." Fear-based parenting shuts down communication, making children less likely to come to parents when they really need help.

Boys Don't Cry and Girls Should Be Nice

Gender-based emotional restrictions create adults who can't express themselves authentically. "I still shake my dad's hand today as a hug, it's seen as "not manly" in his eyes.

Saying 'love you' at the end of phone calls is still very odd." Boys who are told not to cry become men who struggle with emotional intimacy, while girls who must always be "nice" become women who can't set boundaries. "Many millennial dads are active, engaged, emotionally connected parents in ways that past generations weren't.

They're present. And they're happily rejecting outdated masculinity norms one princess tea party at a time." These outdated gender expectations limit children's full emotional development and create relationship problems later in life.

Modern parenting recognizes that all emotions are valid regardless of gender.

Comparing Them to Other Kids Motivates Success

The competitive comparison game destroys children's self-worth and creates lifelong insecurity. "Further demonstrating the challenges technology can pose, 30% of millennial moms say they compare their parenting success to others on social media." When parents constantly measure their children against others, kids learn that their worth depends on being better than someone else.

"Nearly half (46%) of millennial parents feel burned out with 85% believing social media creates unrealistic parenting expectations." This creates adults who are never satisfied with their achievements and constantly seek external validation. Like a race with no finish line, comparison-based motivation leads to chronic dissatisfaction and anxiety.

Children thrive when they compete against their own previous best, not against their peers.

Don't Spoil Them With Too Much Affection

"Babies like to be held—a lot. It's perfectly normal and healthy to pick them up, whenever you can." The old belief that too much love and affection would create spoiled children has been thoroughly debunked.

"Many parents and experts also emphasize responsive parenting, which prioritizes meeting a baby's needs for comfort and connection, an approach often at odds with the principles of CIO." Children who receive abundant affection develop secure attachment styles and become more emotionally resilient adults. "I never saw my parents even so much as hold hands or show much affection towards each other ever." Withholding affection creates adults who struggle with intimacy and emotional connection.

Secure attachment forms the foundation for all future relationships—you can't give a child too much genuine love.

Screen Time Is Completely Evil

"Millennials grew up with technology, but now they're navigating screen time limits, online safety, and social media pressures in a world that feels way more intense than it did when they were kids. So, while the millennial generation is tech-savvy, they're also wary of the downfalls that being chronically online can bring." The all-or-nothing approach to technology creates problems on both ends of the spectrum.

"I cannot stress this enough; an iPad is not a babysitter. I will never get over the fact that parents use devices with addictive app games that rot their children's brains as pacifiers.

This needs to stop. We don't need another ruined generation." While excessive screen time is harmful, complete avoidance leaves children unprepared for a digital world.

"Millennial parents also rely much more on technology, both in learning about how to parent, but also letting their kids play games or watch videos on a tablet or smartphone." Smart parents teach digital literacy and healthy boundaries rather than complete avoidance. Technology isn't inherently good or bad—it's a tool that requires wisdom to use well.

What makes this particularly tragic is how these well-intentioned strategies often create the exact opposite of what parents hoped to achieve. Every family passes down these invisible rules, thinking they're protecting their children, when they're actually limiting their potential.

The most powerful parenting shift happens when we recognize that our children's emotional intelligence matters more than their compliance. Which of these outdated approaches has your family been unconsciously following?