James May: I’m failing at retirement, don’t make my mistake

I had no vision or ambition as a young man, I had typical small-boy fantasies, The closest I’ve come to death, I get embarrassed driving my Ferrari, I also collect art, I notice I’ve become flabby around my face and gut, The last time I cried, Involvment in several businesses, I’ve failed at retirement, I’ve got massive impostor syndrome

James May, 62, shot to fame presenting Top Gear on the BBC from 2003 to 2015, and The Grand Tour on Amazon from 2016 to 2024. Born in Bristol, he worked in the Civil Service before falling into journalism, and was famously fired from Autocar magazine for leaving a hidden message in the headlines. He’s since presented shows on everything from sharks to the moon and his travels around Italy. Here he looks back on the moments that changed him, across his career, health and more.

I had no vision or ambition as a young man

I had no vision or ambition as a young man, I had typical small-boy fantasies, The closest I’ve come to death, I get embarrassed driving my Ferrari, I also collect art, I notice I’ve become flabby around my face and gut, The last time I cried, Involvment in several businesses, I’ve failed at retirement, I’ve got massive impostor syndrome

I was a very late developer, so largely unaware of the world, up until the age of about 35. I did some terrible jobs after I graduated. I worked in a car dealership, in a jewellery shop, as a records officer in the NHS, and on the London Underground. I got fired from most things. I was hopeless. (Photo: Steve Taylor/SOPA Images/LightRocket via Getty)

I had typical small-boy fantasies

I had no vision or ambition as a young man, I had typical small-boy fantasies, The closest I’ve come to death, I get embarrassed driving my Ferrari, I also collect art, I notice I’ve become flabby around my face and gut, The last time I cried, Involvment in several businesses, I’ve failed at retirement, I’ve got massive impostor syndrome

Fantasies of being a fighter pilot or a rock star. I didn’t want to be a footballer because I was rubbish at sports. I slightly resent that at school, you were made to feel it was important to be good at sport. Where we grew up in South Yorkshire, they were keen on kids playing musical instruments. When I was 11, one of the teachers came in with a trumpet and a flute and said: Does anybody want to learn to play these? Some other kid got his hand up before me for the trumpet, so I said: I’ll learn to play that flute. I started playing the piano and became musical. I studied music at university because I was good at it. (Photo: Vito Corleone/SOPA Images/LightRocket via Getty)

The closest I’ve come to death

I had no vision or ambition as a young man, I had typical small-boy fantasies, The closest I’ve come to death, I get embarrassed driving my Ferrari, I also collect art, I notice I’ve become flabby around my face and gut, The last time I cried, Involvment in several businesses, I’ve failed at retirement, I’ve got massive impostor syndrome

The closest I’ve come to death is when I crashed my aeroplane. I tried to land in a gusting crosswind, and the next thing, the aeroplane was on its back. There could have been a fire, which would’ve been the end of me. It was years after I’d started working on Top Gear that I was driving with a mate past an airfield and it had a sign saying: introductory flying lessons, 30 minutes for £120. He said: Let’s stop and have one. Now I have my private pilot’s licence. (Photo: Jeff Spicer/WireImage)

I get embarrassed driving my Ferrari

I had no vision or ambition as a young man, I had typical small-boy fantasies, The closest I’ve come to death, I get embarrassed driving my Ferrari, I also collect art, I notice I’ve become flabby around my face and gut, The last time I cried, Involvment in several businesses, I’ve failed at retirement, I’ve got massive impostor syndrome

I get embarrassed driving my Ferrari (Ferrari driven on Top Gear, centre). I only drive it occasionally. I’ve also got a boat and an aeroplane. I like taking it to the Isle of Wight for a picnic. The aeroplane I mostly fly to other people’s airfields to see what their cafes are like. (Photo: Ana Poenariu/AFP via Getty)

I also collect art

I had no vision or ambition as a young man, I had typical small-boy fantasies, The closest I’ve come to death, I get embarrassed driving my Ferrari, I also collect art, I notice I’ve become flabby around my face and gut, The last time I cried, Involvment in several businesses, I’ve failed at retirement, I’ve got massive impostor syndrome

Mainly 20th Century, but also some Medieval, African, Asian Middle Eastern, and ancient Chinese. I just buy stuff I like, to hang on the wall. It’s not an investment portfolio, but it’s the last thing I’d sell if things went tits up. (Photo: Leon Neal/AFP/Getty)

I notice I’ve become flabby around my face and gut

I had no vision or ambition as a young man, I had typical small-boy fantasies, The closest I’ve come to death, I get embarrassed driving my Ferrari, I also collect art, I notice I’ve become flabby around my face and gut, The last time I cried, Involvment in several businesses, I’ve failed at retirement, I’ve got massive impostor syndrome

I still expect to see someone looking reasonably youthful in the mirror. Occasionally, I’ll see a photograph of myself on a YouTube video, and think: “That’s quite an old man.” I’ve made an effort to exercise in the last few years. I like riding my bicycle, so I try to ride 10 miles a day. I had to have a break this year because I fell off and broke my wrist, and it’s taking a long time to heal. (Photo: Jason Alden/Bloomberg via Getty)

The last time I cried

I had no vision or ambition as a young man, I had typical small-boy fantasies, The closest I’ve come to death, I get embarrassed driving my Ferrari, I also collect art, I notice I’ve become flabby around my face and gut, The last time I cried, Involvment in several businesses, I’ve failed at retirement, I’ve got massive impostor syndrome

I last cried when my cat died. We were very close. His name was Fluff because he wasn’t long-haired, but still fluffy. He died suddenly of an embolism, in some pain, so it was all a bit tragic. I occasionally get teary about certain bits of classical music like Bach and Debussy. It’s the same with poetry. I spent huge amounts of time sitting under trees reading medieval, 19th and 20th-century English poetry. I was a bit messed up as a youth. It took me quite a long time to sort my head out. (Photo: Hulton Archive/Getty)

Involvment in several businesses

I had no vision or ambition as a young man, I had typical small-boy fantasies, The closest I’ve come to death, I get embarrassed driving my Ferrari, I also collect art, I notice I’ve become flabby around my face and gut, The last time I cried, Involvment in several businesses, I’ve failed at retirement, I’ve got massive impostor syndrome

I’ve been involved in several businesses – they’ve never made any money. I think people should steer clear of it. I’m an accidental and reluctant business person. I’ve had an unsuccessful website. I have a pub, which is very nice, but it doesn’t make me any money and it never has. We made some gin for my pubs, which we turned into a gin brand*. We employ people, and I have to go to America to promote it, but it doesn’t make me any money either. (*James Gin is available from Waitrose and jamesgin.com. His new tour, Explorers – The Age of Discovery, starts 20 September) (Photo: Dominic Lipinski/PA)

I’ve failed at retirement

I had no vision or ambition as a young man, I had typical small-boy fantasies, The closest I’ve come to death, I get embarrassed driving my Ferrari, I also collect art, I notice I’ve become flabby around my face and gut, The last time I cried, Involvment in several businesses, I’ve failed at retirement, I’ve got massive impostor syndrome

I’ve been thinking about my retirement since I was a teenager. 2025 was going to be my trial retirement year, but I’ve been accepted to speak at a couple of history festivals and charity events, I’ve got two TV series, and then I’m doing a live show in Australia, New Zealand and around the UK. This is the busiest year I’ve had for about a decade. I haven’t had a day off in months. (Photo: Wayne Coetzee/Gallo Images/Getty)

I’ve got massive impostor syndrome

I had no vision or ambition as a young man, I had typical small-boy fantasies, The closest I’ve come to death, I get embarrassed driving my Ferrari, I also collect art, I notice I’ve become flabby around my face and gut, The last time I cried, Involvment in several businesses, I’ve failed at retirement, I’ve got massive impostor syndrome

I didn’t spend my youth thinking: I’d love to be famous. I didn’t really know what it meant, and I would’ve assumed I wasn’t allowed to anyway. People come up and talk to me quite a bit. Most people are very nice, so you have to be nice back, because they’re the reason you’re here. (Prime Video) (Photo: Vito Corleone/SOPA Images/LightRocket via Getty)

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