Top 16+ Polite Habits Bartenders Actually Dislike—and What to Do Instead

Asking them to do a shot with you

This was the No. 1 "polite" habit that every single one of the bartenders we spoke with said they wished people would stop doing. "I get that you're offering because you want to be nice and have me join in the party, but you're on your own time, and I'm working," says Lea Miner, a bartender at a restaurant in Colorado. "If I did a shot with every customer who asked, I'd be drunk in the first hour [of my shift]." She adds that most bars have a rule about bartenders not drinking on the job, but in her experience, "it's 50/50 whether or not it actually gets enforced."

The fact is, asking a bartender to join in on a round of shots puts them in an uncomfortable position and could even get them fired. “Not only does this put pressure on the bartender, but it can get them in trouble,” Gottsman says. "This may be your place to relax, but it’s their place of employment."

Do this instead: Add the money you would have spent on the shot to the bartender's tip, Gottsman says. Or, says Miner, if you want to buy them a drink, tell them to add one to your tab. That way, the bartender can choose to drink it after their shift is over. 

Sure, there are some bars where this may be the culture, and in that case, it may be OK, Swann says. “The way to know is to simply ask the bartender,” she says. But if the answer is no, let it go.

Picking up your drink before they give it to you

A beer on tap doesn't require any effort beyond filling the glass, but creating a cocktail is a work of art—and that includes final touches like a garnish. "I take a lot of pride in creating custom cocktails that don't just taste great but also look beautiful," says Miner, "and I want the guest to have the full experience." However, many customers think the cocktail is finished after the liquid has been added, and while you may think you're being helpful by taking it at that point, especially if the bar is busy, it takes away from that experience. It's also rude—you're literally grabbing something that's still in the bartender's possession.

Do this instead: “The bartender will signal to you that they’re ready for you to take it, either by handing or sliding the drink to you,” Gottsman says.

All you have to do is wait patiently. “Let me present it in an attractive way, complete with napkin and garnishes,” Miner says.

Cleaning up broken glass

Drop your drink? It's OK—accidents happen. But think twice before getting down on the floor to clean it up. "Drunk people should never be in charge of picking up broken glass," says Antonio Hernandez, a bartender at a speakeasy in Manhattan. You could cut yourself or injure someone else, and not only is that painful, but it's also a liability for the club.

Do this instead: “Staff are trained how to handle these situations, and they have the supplies to do it,” Gottsman says. Politely alert staff to the problem, and let them take care of it.

Stuffing napkins, straw wrappers or other trash into your cup

“A lot of bartenders take great pride in keeping their bar area neat and tidy, so they do appreciate it when you clean up after yourself,” Gottsman says. Stuffing all the trash into a glass may look contained and tidy, but it actually creates more work—and can get gross. "Now I have to stick my fingers inside the used glasses and fish out soggy napkins," Joe says.

Do this instead: “Dispose of your trash in a trash can if one is available and pick up items that fell on the floor,” Gottsman says. “Don’t stack glasses or plates, and don’t put things inside cups.” 

Reaching over or behind the bar to grab something quickly

Maybe you need an extra straw and spy an entire container of them behind the bar. Or maybe you'd just like an extra lemon, and it's right there. Instead of wasting the busy bartender's time, it's fine to just quickly dart or reach behind the bar and grab what you need, right? "Wrong. Always wrong," says Hernandez. "It's already crowded back here, and we have things organized just so. Plus, if you put your dirty fingers into my fruit bin, I have to throw the whole thing out."

Do this instead: If you need something from the bar, wait your turn and ask for it or flag down waitstaff or a busser if one is available, Swann says.

Buying a round of drinks

A round of drinks for your friends—cheers! Buying drinks for others is kind and fun, and the bartender will be more than happy to make it happen ... as long as you know what everyone wants. "I love when someone volunteers, 'I'm buying a round!'" says Joe. "But I cringe when they then turn around and say, 'So, uh, what do you guys want?' and I'm waiting 20 minutes for everyone to figure it out."

Do this instead: “Be efficient and organized with your order,” Gottsman says. Talk to your group and figure out everyone's orders before approaching the bar. At the bar, be prepared to order everyone's drinks at once. 

Young Hispter Bartender Talking With Customers

Requesting a custom cocktail or ordering off-menu

Some establishments are known for having mixologists who love to create custom drinks or make obscure drinks for people, and that’s part of their business, Swann says. You'll find this more often in niche bars, like speakeasies. But you shouldn’t assume this is the case, as it’s a lot of work. Plus, “they may not have the recipe, ingredients or equipment to fulfill that request—or the time,” she says.

Do this instead: “If you want a special drink, look at the ‘specials’ menu; many bars offer seasonal or regional drinks,” Swann says. That said, it never hurts to ask the bartender if they will make you a custom drink, as long as you are polite and not pushy about it, she says. 

Using beverage napkins to clean up a spill

Spills happen, and grabbing a couple napkins to mop up drips is a great idea. What's not? "Grabbing the entire stack of cocktail napkins off the bar and throwing it on a large puddle," says Hernandez. "I appreciate the help, but we have bar mops and rags for exactly this purpose, and those cocktail napkins are pricey."

Do this instead: Flag down a server, busser, host or bartender, and explain the situation, Swann says. They'll bring out the cleaning supplies.

Not bothering them with safety concerns

You may not want to bother the bartender with extra concerns beyond making drinks—especially if the line to the bar is three people deep—but it's always good bar etiquette to bring certain things to the bartender's attention, Swann says. "If you see someone slip something into someone else's drink, alert me or the other staff immediately," says Mitchell Allen, a hotel and catering bartender in Seattle. Other things you should tell your bartender about: first-aid issues, health emergencies and if you need help getting home safely.

Do this instead: When you spot a safety concern, alert the bartender or another staff member immediately, Swann says. "Guests' comfort and safety is always our top priority," Allen adds.