My mom stole a check I got from a car accident settlement. She says it was for “raising me.” Can I take her to court?

A Painful Betrayal – What Just Happened?

Discovering that your parent took your settlement check can feel like a deep betrayal. While she may claim it was justified, legally, parenting doesn’t entitle her to that money. You may have legal recourse, but it starts with knowing your rights and taking a structured approach to justice.

Understand The Nature Of The Settlement

Personal injury settlements often include different types of compensation—some for medical expenses, others for pain and suffering. It’s crucial to understand which part of the award was yours individually, especially if it was issued for your personal loss, injury, or future care needs.

Who Was The Check Made Out To?

The name printed on the check is critical. If it was made out to you, especially without joint custody language or trust language, it was likely intended for your use. If your mother deposited or cashed it without legal authority, her actions could be challenged in court.

Were You A Minor At The Time?

If you were under 18 when the check was issued, your parents may have been custodians of the funds. But they still had a duty to manage it for your benefit—not their own. As a minor, you definitely had the right to that money and it wasn't your mother's to use as they saw fit.

Did The Court Approve The Use Of Funds?

If your state had a law requiring a settlement to be approved by a court, dispersed into a specific bank account, and then presided over by a "guardian ad litem" or a court-appointed child representative, then your mother may have committed financial fraud.

Was The Settlement Structured Or A Lump-Sum?

If your money was dispersed as a lump sum, that made it more susceptible to the type of fraud that your mother may have committed. Structured payments, however, are less susceptible to fraud, but don't provide immediate access to all funds until a specific date. Many families choose lump sum payments instead.

Gather All Available Documentation

Start building your case by gathering everything: the settlement agreement, correspondence from the insurer or lawyer, banking records, and any emails or texts that reference the check. The stronger your documentation, the easier it will be to prove that wrongdoing occurred.

Talk To The Settlement Attorney Or Insurer

Contact the attorney who helped negotiate the settlement. You can also reach out to the insurance company who dealt with the settlement disbursement. They will have concrete information on whom was legally allowed to cash the check given to you, or withdraw money "on your behalf." This can help confirm whether your mom was legally permitted to cash it.

Check How The Bank Processed The Funds

Was the check deposited into a personal account? Were any signatures forged? Banks have procedures for large checks—especially those for minors or third parties. Unfortunately, dealing with your bank may be a bigger headache than you need, but if they cashed a check without your authorization, they could be in big trouble.

Understand The Legal Meaning Of Theft Or Fraud

If someone takes money that doesn’t belong to them without your permission, that’s theft—even within a family. The law doesn’t make exceptions just because you’re relatedL financial abuse is financial abuse.

Evaluate The “Raising Me” Justification

Parents are legally responsible for their child’s upbringing and cannot demand retroactive compensation. A settlement awarded to you for injury or trauma is not intended to reimburse your parent. If this has been your mother's defense, it won't stand up in court.

Weigh The Emotional Impact Of Legal Action

Suing your mother is a huge decision. It will weigh on you and your family for years after the fact. You may even be ostracized from the family unit. Be prepared for emotional fallout and consider support from a counselor.

Start With A Formal Demand For Repayment

Before going to court, you can send a demand letter requesting repayment. Clearly state the facts, reference any legal violations, and give a deadline for response. A letter from an attorney can be especially effective and may prompt resolution without litigation.

Consult An Attorney For Professional Guidance

An experienced civil attorney can assess your documents, advise you on next steps, and handle communication. They can also determine whether your case meets the criteria for civil theft, fraud, or breach of fiduciary duty—especially if the funds were held in trust.

File In Small Claims Court If Applicable

If the amount is within your state’s small claims court threshold, you might be able to file without hiring a lawyer. Small claims court is ideal for cases involving clear documentation and modest sums, and it can be a cost-effective first step toward restitution.

Explore Mediation To Avoid A Family Rift

If you're uncomfortable taking your mother to court, consider family mediation. A neutral third party can help you both reach an agreement in a private setting. Mediation can result in a written repayment plan or partial reimbursement without the bitterness of litigation.

Know When To Involve Law Enforcement

If all else fails—and especially if forgery or fraud was involved—you may consider reporting the incident to police. This is not a decision to take lightly, but in some cases, criminal charges may be necessary to recover funds or stop repeated abuse.

Protect Yourself From Future Financial Abuse

Set up a secure bank account, add two-factor authentication, and keep sensitive documents locked away. If you’re anticipating future settlements, consider having a professional trustee manage the funds. Preventative steps now can keep you safe in the long term.

Check The Statute Of Limitations In Your State

Every state has deadlines for filing civil claims. If too much time has passed since the incident, you may lose your legal right to sue. An attorney can confirm whether you're still within the allowable window to pursue recovery through the courts.