Things you should never say to someone with ADHD

What is ADHD?, Consequences of ADHD, Signs and symptoms, Excessive personality, Hyperactive behavior, Treatment and management, Misconceptions and what not to say, Unproductive comments, "Isn't everyone a little ADHD?", "People with ADHD are just less intelligent or lazy", "You only focus on what you want to", "You aren't even trying", "It's not that big of a deal", "Stop overreacting", "How could you forget about something so important?", "Nobody needs to know you have ADHD"

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or ADHD, is a developmental disorder that affects approximately 2–5% of adults worldwide. Symptoms of the condition usually appear before the age of 12, and those with ADHD typically demonstrate problems with concentration and sitting still, among other characteristics.

The misconceptions surrounding ADHD often provoke questions from uninformed people that can hurt the feelings of those with the disorder. So, what things should you never say to someone with ADHD?

Click through and learn more about the condition and the questions and comments you should never voice.

What is ADHD?

What is ADHD?, Consequences of ADHD, Signs and symptoms, Excessive personality, Hyperactive behavior, Treatment and management, Misconceptions and what not to say, Unproductive comments, "Isn't everyone a little ADHD?", "People with ADHD are just less intelligent or lazy", "You only focus on what you want to", "You aren't even trying", "It's not that big of a deal", "Stop overreacting", "How could you forget about something so important?", "Nobody needs to know you have ADHD"

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a developmental disorder the symptoms of which usually start before the age of 12.

Consequences of ADHD

What is ADHD?, Consequences of ADHD, Signs and symptoms, Excessive personality, Hyperactive behavior, Treatment and management, Misconceptions and what not to say, Unproductive comments, "Isn't everyone a little ADHD?", "People with ADHD are just less intelligent or lazy", "You only focus on what you want to", "You aren't even trying", "It's not that big of a deal", "Stop overreacting", "How could you forget about something so important?", "Nobody needs to know you have ADHD"

These symptoms involve a person's ability to pay attention to things (being inattentive), having high energy levels (being hyperactive), and their ability to control their impulses (being impulsive).

Signs and symptoms

What is ADHD?, Consequences of ADHD, Signs and symptoms, Excessive personality, Hyperactive behavior, Treatment and management, Misconceptions and what not to say, Unproductive comments, "Isn't everyone a little ADHD?", "People with ADHD are just less intelligent or lazy", "You only focus on what you want to", "You aren't even trying", "It's not that big of a deal", "Stop overreacting", "How could you forget about something so important?", "Nobody needs to know you have ADHD"

Signs and symptoms of ADHD in kids and teenagers include an inability to sit still, especially in calm or quiet surroundings.

Excessive personality

What is ADHD?, Consequences of ADHD, Signs and symptoms, Excessive personality, Hyperactive behavior, Treatment and management, Misconceptions and what not to say, Unproductive comments, "Isn't everyone a little ADHD?", "People with ADHD are just less intelligent or lazy", "You only focus on what you want to", "You aren't even trying", "It's not that big of a deal", "Stop overreacting", "How could you forget about something so important?", "Nobody needs to know you have ADHD"

Excessive talking, interrupting conversations, and being unable to wait their turn is typical of people with ADHD.

Hyperactive behavior

What is ADHD?, Consequences of ADHD, Signs and symptoms, Excessive personality, Hyperactive behavior, Treatment and management, Misconceptions and what not to say, Unproductive comments, "Isn't everyone a little ADHD?", "People with ADHD are just less intelligent or lazy", "You only focus on what you want to", "You aren't even trying", "It's not that big of a deal", "Stop overreacting", "How could you forget about something so important?", "Nobody needs to know you have ADHD"

Not paying attention and being impulsive or overtly hyperactive are also symptoms associated with the condition.

Treatment and management

What is ADHD?, Consequences of ADHD, Signs and symptoms, Excessive personality, Hyperactive behavior, Treatment and management, Misconceptions and what not to say, Unproductive comments, "Isn't everyone a little ADHD?", "People with ADHD are just less intelligent or lazy", "You only focus on what you want to", "You aren't even trying", "It's not that big of a deal", "Stop overreacting", "How could you forget about something so important?", "Nobody needs to know you have ADHD"

Standard treatments for ADHD in adults typically involve medication, education, skills training, and psychological counseling.

Misconceptions and what not to say

What is ADHD?, Consequences of ADHD, Signs and symptoms, Excessive personality, Hyperactive behavior, Treatment and management, Misconceptions and what not to say, Unproductive comments, "Isn't everyone a little ADHD?", "People with ADHD are just less intelligent or lazy", "You only focus on what you want to", "You aren't even trying", "It's not that big of a deal", "Stop overreacting", "How could you forget about something so important?", "Nobody needs to know you have ADHD"

But misconceptions about ADHD are common and can lead to even well-informed people sometimes using hurtful, unproductive comments and clichéd phrases when trying to be supportive of someone with the disorder.

Unproductive comments

What is ADHD?, Consequences of ADHD, Signs and symptoms, Excessive personality, Hyperactive behavior, Treatment and management, Misconceptions and what not to say, Unproductive comments, "Isn't everyone a little ADHD?", "People with ADHD are just less intelligent or lazy", "You only focus on what you want to", "You aren't even trying", "It's not that big of a deal", "Stop overreacting", "How could you forget about something so important?", "Nobody needs to know you have ADHD"

Even if your intentions are good, some of these expressions can be terribly frustrating and even offensive to a person with an ADHD diagnosis.

"Isn't everyone a little ADHD?"

What is ADHD?, Consequences of ADHD, Signs and symptoms, Excessive personality, Hyperactive behavior, Treatment and management, Misconceptions and what not to say, Unproductive comments, "Isn't everyone a little ADHD?", "People with ADHD are just less intelligent or lazy", "You only focus on what you want to", "You aren't even trying", "It's not that big of a deal", "Stop overreacting", "How could you forget about something so important?", "Nobody needs to know you have ADHD"

Claiming that everyone is a little ADHD only compounds the issue and can be hurtful for several reasons. Flippantly describing everyone's life experiences as "a little ADHD" implies that you have no idea of the serious difficulties that someone with ADHD faces every day.

"People with ADHD are just less intelligent or lazy"

What is ADHD?, Consequences of ADHD, Signs and symptoms, Excessive personality, Hyperactive behavior, Treatment and management, Misconceptions and what not to say, Unproductive comments, "Isn't everyone a little ADHD?", "People with ADHD are just less intelligent or lazy", "You only focus on what you want to", "You aren't even trying", "It's not that big of a deal", "Stop overreacting", "How could you forget about something so important?", "Nobody needs to know you have ADHD"

Similarly, anyone who believes people with ADHD are less intelligent or just lazy are failing to recognize that the condition affects their executive functions. These are skills that you use to manage everyday tasks like making plans, solving problems, and adapting to new situations. To accuse people with ADHD of not pulling their weight or being stupid is quite wrong and plainly inaccurate.

"You only focus on what you want to"

What is ADHD?, Consequences of ADHD, Signs and symptoms, Excessive personality, Hyperactive behavior, Treatment and management, Misconceptions and what not to say, Unproductive comments, "Isn't everyone a little ADHD?", "People with ADHD are just less intelligent or lazy", "You only focus on what you want to", "You aren't even trying", "It's not that big of a deal", "Stop overreacting", "How could you forget about something so important?", "Nobody needs to know you have ADHD"

Conversely, some people with ADHD also experience what’s called "hyperfocus." This refers to an intense fixation on an interest or activity for an extended period of time, and happens with activities the person finds interesting or exciting. Telling someone with ADHD that they only focus on what they want to implies that they're simply choosing not to focus on certain tasks, which is untrue.

"You aren't even trying"

What is ADHD?, Consequences of ADHD, Signs and symptoms, Excessive personality, Hyperactive behavior, Treatment and management, Misconceptions and what not to say, Unproductive comments, "Isn't everyone a little ADHD?", "People with ADHD are just less intelligent or lazy", "You only focus on what you want to", "You aren't even trying", "It's not that big of a deal", "Stop overreacting", "How could you forget about something so important?", "Nobody needs to know you have ADHD"

ADHD can also cause hyperfocus on the negatives. "You aren't even trying" is a common response by those who assume that someone with the condition just isn't pulling their socks up. And the worst aspect of this accusation is that a person can start believing it themselves.

"It's not that big of a deal"

What is ADHD?, Consequences of ADHD, Signs and symptoms, Excessive personality, Hyperactive behavior, Treatment and management, Misconceptions and what not to say, Unproductive comments, "Isn't everyone a little ADHD?", "People with ADHD are just less intelligent or lazy", "You only focus on what you want to", "You aren't even trying", "It's not that big of a deal", "Stop overreacting", "How could you forget about something so important?", "Nobody needs to know you have ADHD"

For adults and children alike, being told that ADHD is not serious can be upsetting and, frankly, insulting. The consequences of living with ADHD can cause a huge amount of distress to those diagnosed with the condition.

"Stop overreacting"

What is ADHD?, Consequences of ADHD, Signs and symptoms, Excessive personality, Hyperactive behavior, Treatment and management, Misconceptions and what not to say, Unproductive comments, "Isn't everyone a little ADHD?", "People with ADHD are just less intelligent or lazy", "You only focus on what you want to", "You aren't even trying", "It's not that big of a deal", "Stop overreacting", "How could you forget about something so important?", "Nobody needs to know you have ADHD"

Emotional imbalance is a core ADHD symptom. Being told to stop overreacting only serves to further fuel this kind of response in people with the condition. Even the smallest of setbacks and challenges can make someone react disproportionately.

"How could you forget about something so important?"

What is ADHD?, Consequences of ADHD, Signs and symptoms, Excessive personality, Hyperactive behavior, Treatment and management, Misconceptions and what not to say, Unproductive comments, "Isn't everyone a little ADHD?", "People with ADHD are just less intelligent or lazy", "You only focus on what you want to", "You aren't even trying", "It's not that big of a deal", "Stop overreacting", "How could you forget about something so important?", "Nobody needs to know you have ADHD"

To accuse a person with ADHD of forgetfulness is to dismiss a fundamental symptom of the condition. The ADHD brain tends to process information in a disorganized manner. While people with ADHD do their best to remember, obligation and responsibility often fall through the net.

"Nobody needs to know you have ADHD"

What is ADHD?, Consequences of ADHD, Signs and symptoms, Excessive personality, Hyperactive behavior, Treatment and management, Misconceptions and what not to say, Unproductive comments, "Isn't everyone a little ADHD?", "People with ADHD are just less intelligent or lazy", "You only focus on what you want to", "You aren't even trying", "It's not that big of a deal", "Stop overreacting", "How could you forget about something so important?", "Nobody needs to know you have ADHD"

While it's certainly true that people don't need to disclose their ADHD diagnosis to anyone, it's their decision to make and theirs alone. Suggesting that someone with ADHD should keep their condition a secret can be very damaging. It can make them feel ashamed of their ADHD and cause embarrassment and distress.

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