On the birth of his first child, Marvyn Harrison’s goal was modest: two weeks off work in which to spend time adjusting to newborn life. Almost immediately, however, it became clear that this was “not particularly viable”. A contractor for a tech firm, he wasn’t entitled to any paid company leave, so he’d have to take it as unpaid. The costs of looking after a baby were fast mounting.

“I got four days in before I realised that the pressure of needing to make ends meet for the whole month was just too overwhelming,” he reflects. “I made a decision that by Monday of the next week, I’d go back in.”

So Harrison, now 41, took just a week of paternity leave, for which he received statutory pay – less than half the UK minimum wage. New fathers in the UK are currently entitled to two weeks of government-funded leave at either £187.18 a week or 90 per cent of their average weekly earnings – whichever is lowest; the worst in Europe.

Earlier this month, ministers launched a review of paternity leave and parental rights, which Business Secretary Jonathan Reynolds described as “our chance to reset the system and build something that works for modern families.” Plans may involve unpaid leave becoming an option for employees from day one.

For too many, the system simply doesn’t work. Last month, hundreds of protesters from campaign group Dad Shift took to London and Edinburgh to bang the drum for better rights for fathers.

Harrison took a week of paternity leave when he had his first child

In 2014, the government introduced shared parental leave (SPL) – allowing parents to split paid leave for 37 weeks at the same statutory minimum, and unpaid leave for a further 13. But it was taken up by less than two per cent of new parents last year. A government review from 2023 suggests that 45 per cent of fathers were unaware it was an option, thought to be due to poor promotion of the policy and financial constraints. Another barrier has been that if couples take shared parental leave, mothers must end their maternity leave early – and many don’t want to.

Common issues drive dads back to work sooner: that men are typically higher earners (a key consideration, given the UK is the third-most-expensive country in the OECD to raise a child at an average of £12,400 per year), and that women are seen as primary caregivers, despite the impact on their own careers.

‘I felf judged by friends and family for going back to work early’

Yet rushing back to work quickly is having a deleterious effect on fathers, Harrison says. Being back in the office a week after his son was born “wasn’t a very nice experience. I felt constantly guilty. I also felt judged by friends and family who were like, ‘You’re back at work already?’ And I felt like I had to compel myself to talk about my financial situation to justify why I wasn’t at home with my baby, and that’s where I really wanted to be.”

For years since, Harrison says, he was left playing catch-up – trying to bond with the baby he should have been able to spend time with from the off, while dealing with the pressure of working three jobs to ensure the family had enough to get by. He now understands that this triggered a depressive episode.

“I used to come in after work on a completely different frequency and miss the mark as to what the house needed and who I needed to be. And it was just a constant disconnect,” says Harrison. “If I had that time at home, we would have created a culture and rhythm together. And that was the part that was missing.

“I really struggled. It was just a very heavy, heavy time and it took about two-and-a-half years to get to the other side of it.”

Pete Target worked as a civil servant, but when he became a father he got just a week at full pay, plus a week at the statutory minimum, leading him to deal with similar feelings of failure both at work and home.

But taking an extended period off last year ahead of his son’s first birthday while his partner returned to work made all the difference, he says. “I always knew, my whole life, probably, that I would want to take off as much time as I could from work to be with my child.”

Despite the financial hit, he spent nine weeks on trips to the city farm, picnicking and going to the aquarium with his son – as well as attending a protest for the Dad Shift. (Shared parental leave can be taken any time up until your child’s first birthday.)

Pete Target bonded with his son during his period of parental leave

“It was quite scary and challenging, having all of this unprogrammed time,” he says. “But really quickly, I found that I relished the chance to make my own relationship with my son… it was amazing,” Target, 37, says. “I felt really quickly like I was becoming the chief parent.”

By the end of their one-on-one time together, his son’s attachment to him was unequivocal. “Slightly jealously, I really, really wanted it to be the case that if he fell over, he would cry for me. Because that was really important to me; that there was that kind of equality,” Target adds.

‘If I have another baby I will take off twice as long’

He admits that the attention to his being the primary caregiver out in public was unlike that mothers typically experience. “I was very aware that that was something my partner hadn’t necessarily had. I felt like a kind of cool guy, going around, doing something fairly right-on and progressive. I won’t deny it, that definitely happened,” he says of the cooing from onlookers that came with it. “And it was really affirming.”

The experience was so positive that “if we have another baby, I will take off twice as long”. He sees it as a vital opportunity to form a strong father-child relationship. “It really defined and enriched the relationship between me and my son. And I just wish everyone could have that.” He urges other fathers to do the same, even if the financial implications seem challenging, pointing out that if both parents earn a similar amount, there is no real difference in losses.

Harrison, whose children are now nine and seven, believes that much needs to change in the UK to level the playing field between working parents. “Employers need a better attitude towards employees who are having children and more support,” he says. “Not everybody has the financial ability to fund nannies and au pairs… not everybody has grandparents and aunts and uncles to [provide] support.”

Target became the primary caregiver

He feels strongly, too, that legislation centering on men’s contribution to family life has never been made a priority by any government, and that failure to do so is “leaving mothers overworked, [and] really emotionally burdened by the absence of dads.” They “100 per cent have the ability to change” the current status quo, he says, which should not be a matter “of whether the Government or employers find it viable. It’s just whether we are willing to take that step on behalf of men.”