The 5 most common deathbed regrets, according to a palliative care nurse
As you can imagine, when people know that they're dying, they often become reflective about their lives. Many turn almost philosophical, eager to draw conclusions on the nature and mysteries of life and impart what wisdom they can conjure up to others. That's according to a woman called Bronnie Ware, anyway. Bronnie spent a significant part of her nursing career working with the dying (Picture: Getty Images)
As a palliative care nurse, she met lots of people on their deathbeds, watching them slowly pass away. It's a heavy topic, but one she covers with great insight and tenderness in her international bestselling memoir, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying – A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing. These are the five main regrets that dying people have shared with her... (stock image) (Picture: Getty Images)
2. 'I wish I'd lived my life the way I wanted, not how others expected me to behave'
A second great lament of those on their deathbeds is around being 'true' to oneself. This, says Bronnie, is the most common of all the regrets she ever heard uttered on her patients' final beds. It is, she interprets, people's sadness at never achieving - or even attempting to achieve - their personal dreams (stock image) (Picture: Getty Images)
3. 'I regret losing touch with so many of my friends'
When people look back over their lives toward the end of them, a surprising number feel somewhat contrite about having let friendships fizzle out. Friendships, like all relationships, require maintenance. It's easy to let them slide and die out. Most of us forget about old friends until we're afforded a chance to reflect on our lives. Then, many of us cast our minds back and have regrets that we didn't do more to keep in contact with those people we met along the way and felt great affection for (stock image) (Picture: Getty Images)
4. 'I wish I'd been brave enough to express my feelings more'
'Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others,' says Bronnie. 'As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result' (stock image) (Picture: Getty Images)
5. 'I wish I'd let myself be happier'
Bronnie's final top lament of the dying is a poignant one. And, again, a rather common one. Whether it's a fear of change or a fear of letting others down, so many folk take the easy route, or even the seemingly selfless one. Time and time again. Over a lifetime, this can lead to unhappiness. 'Life is a choice. It is YOUR life,' Bronnie is keen to tell people. 'Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness' (stock image) (Picture: Getty Images) This article was originally published in March 2024
