“Told My Son That I Was Allergic To Whining”: 34 Parents Reveal Their Best Parenting Hacks

#1

Obligatory "Not a Parent" but one piece of advice I saw on Reddit a while ago that I intend to carry forward. Realize that while the problem your child may be having is ultimately meaningless, it could very well be the most painful thing that has ever happened to them. Your five year old stub their toe and won't stop crying? That might actually have been the most pain they've ever felt and the little throbbing after might make it seem like it'll never end. They don't know better, and they won't know better till they experience it for themselves and only for themselves. Your teenage daughter just got dumped by her boyfriend or her favorite band broke up? This emotional trauma, however ridiculous, might actually be the worst emotional pain she's ever felt. She doesn't know that it'll fade soon enough and one day she'll even laugh at how she acted, and there is nothing you can say that will teach her this. Your children have to learn these things for themselves, simply telling them "You'll get over it." IS a true statement, but it will feel like you are dismissing their problems. And if the worst pain they've ever felt is something you as their parent will dismiss, then don't be surprised when they don't come to you for something serious.

#3

I told my kid her ears turn red when she tells a lie, now she covers her ears when she lies. She is almost 7 and it still works.

#5

Teach your toddler a few signs before they can talk (eat, drink, more, play, etc). Cuts down on their frustrations caused by not being able to communicate.

#7

Making them start the day over again. Some days they would wake up in the WORST mood. Just cranky and awful. I would tell them I needed them to start the day over because it hadn’t worked right the first time. Going through the motions of having to climb back into bed, close their eyes, then pretend to wake up again made them giggle so much that it usually made for a much smoother start to the day.

#9

Make "No helmet no wheels" the law with no exceptions from the moment they get their first tricycle. Wear your own helmet when you ride together. Let them pick out cool colors etc. Come down hard the first time you catch him or her without. This saved my son's life when he was hit and dragged under a van!

#11

Lasagne bedding. Waterproof sheet, sheet, waterproof sheet, sheet. No changing wet beds in the night, just pull off top layer and change child!

#13

Not a parent, but a teacher. My best "hack" aims to tackle oppositional defiance, a fancy way of saying "a kid who does the opposite of what you've asked, just because you've asked". This strategy is called choice/choice. Let's say you ask your 4-5 y/o to go get her shoes, and she screams "No!". Instead of repeating the demand, ("Get your shoes now, or else!) present the illusion of choice. "You have two choices: If you go get your own shoes, I will let you pick which pair you wear today. If you do not get your own shoes, I will pick what you wear today. " The choices you offer can sometimes provide incentive towards the choice you want then to choose. Giving children choices provides them with limited freedom and individuality. This is important in developing your child's confidence in their own choices. Choice/ choice can also be used to encourage children to take responsibility. I have a student in my class who is very oppositional defiant. If I say go to the right, he goes to the left. He will constantly try to push the limits of our classroom rules. When he does this, I offer him choice/ choice. I prefer this method with him because it leaves no room for him to argue, or blame me when he doesn't get what he wants. For example, if he has an upset outburst in class, I will say, "You have two choices: You can either use your coping skills and stay in the classroom, or you can take a break in our buddy room. You have thirty seconds to make your choice. It is up to you." This works better than "Go to the office!" or traditional punishment because 1. I'm allowing him to have some control, 2. I'm giving him a time frame, 3. I'm not placing blame, 4. I'm stating the choices in a calm way (no invitation for aggression), and 5. the choices are concrete enough that he can't manipulate the outcome. I'd highly recommend this strategy to anyone who has a child who is displaying defiant/argumentative behavior.

#15

Draw semi circles on the insides of their shoes that match up to make a full circle when the shoes are on the right side of each other.

#17

Mother of two teenagers. Don't just listen but ask. Ask questions that can't be answered with a yes or no. Then follow up with a few more questions about the answers given, and before you know it, they are talking to you without trying. Example: I don't ask my kids "How was your day?". I ask something very specific like "I see you are reading 'certain book' in class. I don't think I read that, what's it about?". They generally give me a brief rundown so I follow up with maybe "do you have to do a project on it? What ideas do you have?", things like that. After 1 or 2 questions like that they just keep talking about the class, then the class after or before then I know their whole day. They've gotten so use to just conversing with me, I don't have to try that hard to get the ball rolling anymore unlike some of my friends who are amazed my teenage kids actually talk to me. Also, those conversation starter questions are a great go to. At dinner, no one is allowed a phone, even us adults. So I have a list of conversation starters and just start asking and everyone has to answer the question. Often times will only get to the 2nd or 3rd question before we've moved on to a totally different and offbeat topic, having a really great and fun conversation about something random, like is a hamburger a sandwich or it's own thing? Or is Indiana Jones central to his own storyline? You know, the important stuff.

#19

If they are cranky, put them in water. I have teenagers, this is still the method that I use. Even having them wash their hands or face does wonders. To be fair, I do it with my husband too. So really, I guess it's just works for humans.

#21

If you have a hard time getting them to eat their vegetables give them before the dinner because thats when they are hungry and will eat almost anything, give them some carrots and cucumbers in a glass which is a great snack.

#23

Learn to say thank you and I’m sorry to them. It makes you closer and helps your relationship with them no matter what age. Experiences are better than things. Waking up before them makes the day a lot easier. Find a way to see them when you’re driving.

#25

Teach them how to express their feelings and validate them when they do.

#27

No a parent, but when I was a child my mom would hide her 4 glass birds (little sculptures she had) around the house. My sister and I had to look for them. We had to be very careful while looking so we didnt break them. If we broke one, we lost. If we left drawers/door/cabinets open, we lost. You would think that we could tie and each find two birds, but it never happened. We would go to mom when we gave up, and she would hide them all over again. It wasnt until I was an adult did I realize that she never hid a fourth bird. But boy did we spend a *looong* time looking

#29

Put sunscreen on at home, before you get to the beach/pool/park. They know we're not going anywhere till it's on. Saves me from the scramble at the destination because they're always too excited to hold still and I'm in a rush, so it's not a thorough job. Sunscreen takes 20 minutes to kick in anyway.

#31

My daughter would run away from me at the grocery store when I had my infant son in the cart. So I put tap shoes on her when we went shopping.

#33

Whenever either of my toddlers was crying or whining in the car, I would point to something invisible out the window and say "hey! do you see that over there?!" By the time they realized they couldn't figure out what I was pointing at, they'd forgotten the reason they were whining. Amazing how many times that worked.